Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Baby, I Blinked

Last night Eli woke and asked me to come lay with him until he fell back asleep.  It’s a little ritual that started after watching the news one evening when he realized that there are “bad guys” out there.

In my sleepy stupor, I climbed into the bed fussing that he needed to act like a “big boy.”  He immediately drifted back to dreamland, but I lay there in the dark with the image of his kindergarten graduation photo burned into my head.

I’ll blink and that cap and gown will be on high school senior.

I apologized to him this morning for being harsh.  The truth is that he will be a big boy before I know it.  All too soon he will beg me to leave his room instead of inviting me in to comfort his fears.

I’ll blink and everything will change…  

“Standing here I look at you.  It’s has if the air has left the room. This movement came far too soon.  I think back to the morning I stood with tears in my eyes.  I first saw your face and first heard your cry.  It’s all a blur.  I don’t know how we got from then to now. 

Baby, I blinked.

I look back on a thousand scenes; I’m blessed beyond my wildest dreams.  You’ve brought me joy and all good things. And who you are, it makes me proud. I can’t help but think when I see you now…

Baby, I blinked. 

Sometimes it breaks my heart.  I wish that I could find a way to slow it down. I wish I could turn back time.

Baby, I blinked.

I only blinked. I’m the one who years ago said she would drink it all the moments and all the memories.  Oh how fast the years have passed.  And that leaves me to think that maybe, just maybe… Baby, I blinked.”

 **Thanks, Susan, for introducing me to the world's saddest song.**

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