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Showing posts from August, 2017

Just Call Him "Mark Twain"

Ya’ll last week this little gem came home in Eli’s backpack.    It’s still a little unclear as to what the writing prompt actually was, but I sure did get a good laugh.   Only a little boy could come up with this kind of story.   I just hope that I wasn’t the inspiration with my food consumption habits.   In case you can’t see it: Wons upon a time their wus a fat guy named bob   he ate alot of donuts and weighed 10,000 pounds.   And he was eating a big big ginormes 500 pound cake.   When he ate all of it he so fat he explodtid and all of the food flyed everywhere and at peppel ran/   He was back to life aet sum mmor.   He exploted ougin.   He went to the hospital hospitel to put it back to gather and he was fine but he went to this con test and he said let me do it please please and he got in the contest and won and ofter words he exploded the ind. Translation: Once upon a time there was a fat guy named Bob.   He ate a lot of donuts and weighed 10,000 pounds, and he was

Happy Birthday, Blondie

My Sweet Boy, Today you turn eight years old and I find myself once again wondering how we made it to this point- this day on the calendar that forever changed me.    Every year, I marvel at the Lord’s graciousness in fulfilling a dream I never knew I had. You see, I wasn’t certain I wanted to be a mother, and I definitely didn’t know anything about raising a little boy. But the Lord knows the desires of our hearts, even when we don’t yet realize them ourselves.   And in His infinite wisdom, He so kindly entrusted you to me, fulfilling the longing I never knew lied within my heart.   You are the dream that was realized the day I saw two pink lines on that pregnancy test.   You are the dream I realized the day the doctor pointed to something on the screen and said, “It’s a boy!”   You are the dream that came true the day they wheeled me out of surgery and placed a little miracle bundle of joy into my arms. You, sweet boy, are my dream come true and a testament to the Lor

How To Communicate In Marriage

I majored in Broadcast Communication and Eric minored in it, so as professional communicators, we would love to take a moment to share our advice with you about how to effectively communicate in marriage.   I’m joking…we’re a mess. So instead of advice, how about two stories that will make you feel better about your life? Before I begin, you need to know that I am a very LITERAL thinker.   For example, Eric (the weather man) once asked me when I thought winter started.   Thinking it was a trick question, I said, “When it gets really cold outside.”   He meant the calendar date.   Ya’ll, I’m just saying that he should have worded the question differently, but that was almost ten years ago, so I’m trying to let it go.   The point is, I think in literal terms, so please keep this in mind. Wednesday night we were in bed and almost asleep when out of nowhere this conversation went down: Eric: (in a sleepy monotone voice): Do your parents still have that island t

Story Time With Eli

Last night after a particularly difficult evening of shopping with two exhausted and grumpy children, I was sitting on the couch trying to decompress a bit when Eli walked into the family room carrying an economy size box of tampons...cause I'm all about economic responsibility and good stewardship. Before I could question his intentions, he looked and me and "Mom, this is one of those things that you packed in my backpack today." It took me all of two seconds to remember that over the weekend I had slipped a lovely, little feminine product into Eli's shoe so that I could easily carry it to the car because my hands were full at the time, and I certainly didn't want to drop that little ditty in the parking lot. The problem was that Eli didn't wear the shoes, and I forgot all about the hygiene product being in there. When Monday morning rolled around, I dressed Eli for camp in swimming trucks and flip-flops and packed a change of clothes along with