Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The Watson Pizza Scandal of 2017

Do you ever have those moments in marriage that you know you’re still going to be talking about in 20 years?  You know what I mean - those little “tiffs” that are so absurd you wonder why you’re even “arguing” about whatever it is in the first place, but you can’t seem to let it go?   If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you are either not married or you’re still a newlywed.  For everyone else, let’s talk about what Eric and I are dubbing as the “Watson Pizza Scandal of 2017.”

It all started on Saturday night when we decided to chill out at home and make some homemade pizza after a day of swimming.  We had five personal pizzas.  Eli’s was cheese, Ellie and I had supreme, and Eric made his a supreme minus onions because he HATES onions.  He also made an extra pizza to keep for lunch on Sunday…such a smart move!

So we were sitting there enjoying our delicious meal and quite proud of ourselves because cooking has become a rarity these days.  About that time, Eric walked into the kitchen to discover that I had “stolen” his extra pizza.  That’s right – I had somehow grabbed the supreme-no onion pizza and devoured the entire thing without ever realizing my error. And it was quite good, I must say.

So here’s the scandal  - was it an innocent mistake or did I intentionally eat his pizza and save mine for lunch on Sunday knowing that he wouldn’t touch it with the onions on it? 

I think you know which side of the “argument” we each align ourselves with.  

With our two opinions formed, the debate began. The thing is that the whole situation struck me as funny and I started laughing uncontrollably.  That was probably not the best response from someone whose flightiness creates regular stress – for example the time I forgot we had tickets to a concert for a date night and had to ask his parents to drive three hours to watch the kids…the day of the event.  Or the time I drove off with my wallet on the roof of my car and had all my credit cards stolen, or the time I was sitting at the ballpark waiting on Eric and Eli to arrive, when I was supposed to have stopped by house to get them.  Those kinds of things happen weekly in the Watson home, and Eric is such a patient man to put up with this kind of thing—but don’t mess with our food or we’ll take it to a whole new level of crazy!

So, the pizza was gone –devoured- because it was good, I’m laughing hysterically at the situation, and my poor hubby’s hard work was sitting at the bottom of my stomach.  Good times, ya’ll…sorta.

All is well that ends well and about three minutes later we were laughing at the audacity of it, but I have a hunch that it will be a point of contention in the future.  On our 50th Anniversary, we will probably still be talking about the “Watson Pizza Scandal of 2017” and whether or not I intentionally ate the extra pizza.

For the record, I did no such thing!  And to make amends, I sent Eric this text from work today of me eating the pizza. 

Bless his patient little heart.  He’s such a good sport!

Monday, July 17, 2017

Weekend Recap

This was our first weekend home in about month, and it was a much needed weekend of relaxing and togetherness...but don't confuse the two.  I can assure you that sometimes our togetherness is anything but relaxing. 

Anyway, Friday night we let the kids swim and then we put them to bed so that we could watch a movie and pretend that we were on a date.  It sounds so lame, but we look forward to it every week. It's the small things in life, y'all!

I promised the kids a swimming day on Saturday, and I delivered.  After a quick run to pickup my groceries, we ate a late breakfast and spent the day in the pool.  Ellie taught herself how to swim, which was super exciting!  She had taken off her swimmies and was trying to paddle around, but she couldn't get her body to balance.  We suggested that Eli show her how to swim under water, and she was gone!

After a day in the water and playing super heroes, we had homemade pizza for dinner and now have a family scandal on our hands.  More of that tomorrow. Ha!  We rounded out the evening with a trip to homemade depot and a stop for dessert!

After church on Sunday, we dropped the kids off with my parents for the week.  I am going to TRY to get caught up on laundry and cleaning and a few other things that need some TLC. 

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Playing Catchup

Hi, ya’ll!  It has been a way too long since I have popped in with a little update on this blog, and I have to confess the reason why.  I’ve really struggled with what my little corner of the internet should look like. Should it be surface-level and filled with fun highlights or should it be a journal echoing the thoughts of my heart?  I couldn’t really make it fit into either box, but the truth is that I miss blogging so much.

I miss documenting the little moments of our lives.  I have never once regretted all the writing I did in those early years of parenting, and I want to continue keeping track of the memories both large and small. 

I guess moving forward this blog will be a mixture of both the mundane and the exciting.  It will be both topical and personal.  It will be a hodgepodge of life as it comes and whatever I feel like sharing at the moment.  It might be consistent or it might be sporadic.  I have no idea.  I just know that I want to preserve these precious memories of motherhood. 

So, let’s do a quick catch-me-up.  I will update this list with links later, but until then, here is 2017 in a nutshell:

            -WKU Game

February – The month of sickness
            -Princess Tea Party
            -March Madness
            -Flipping Your Fins
            - Family Fun Day: Beauty and the Beast
            - The Little Mermaid
            -The Clown Cone Take Two
-Birthday Weekend
-More Family Fun
-Spring Hike
-Easter Egg Hunt
- Date Day With Mommy
-Easter 2017
- A Right of Passage
-Muffins with Mom 2017
-Disney On Ice
- Spring Family Fun

            -Camping Getaway
            -Preschool Graduation
            -Mothers Day Weekend
-Back to the Hospital
-Wedding Weekend
-Second Grade Awards

            -Game Face
            -Beech Bend
            -Fun with the Adkins Family
            -Ellie The Diva
            - Stand For Kids Day
            - The Mets
            -Family Vacation 2017

I can’t wait to share all of these precious memories in the weeks ahead.  I’ll post the in order on the blog but will try to share the links on social media for anyone who wants to read.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Happy Father's Day

I had an entire post written to honor Eric for Father's Day.  It was sweet and sappy and everything he hates, so I thought that a more fitting way to celebrate him would be a trip down memory lane with some of our more memorable parenting moments.  One of the greatest joys of doing life with this man has been his sense of humor.

Let's start with pregnancy itself.  While expecting Eli, we went to birthing classes at the hospital.  I ended up having two c-sections, so it was all a waste of time minus this great memory.  When teaching the breathing techniques, the nurse had the fathers squeeze the achilles tendon of the mom so that we would learn to push through the pain.  We can all roll our eyes here because that was nothing like a real contraction at all.  Worry not, Eric had my back and really enjoyed applying more than "gentle pressure" to my ankle.  He would pinch the tar our of me and then when the instructor would tell the men to ease up, he would add a little extra pressure to make me squirm.  When I called him out on it, he said, "Babe, it's labor.  You have to expect the unexpected."  That turned out to be sound advice.

Poor Eli was such a trooper too putting up with his horrible first time parents.  He fell out of his baby swing one day while I was making the bed, and he didn't even cry.  When I came back in the room, he was under the swing watching it go back and forth over his heard.  What a trooper!  There was also the time I thought maybe he was deaf, so I waited until he was almost asleep and then starting banging pans over his head to see if he heard me.  Turns out postpartum hormones and Mr. Holland's Opus don't mix.

Another fine moment was our first family trip to the beach.  Somehow, we misapplied the sunscreen and our poor baby ended up getting it in his eyes along with a handful of sand. He was burnt to a crisp and his eyes were swollen almost completely shut.  Don't believe me?  See the above picture for proof.

By the time Ellie came around, we were starting to make some progress on the whole parenting thing but learned the hard way that you should never get too confident.  One afternoon I took Eli with me to the grocery store while Eric stayed home with Ellie.  I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I accidentally locked him in the car.  Worry not, he entertained himself by sticking Twizzlers up his nose and then eating them.  Thankfully, Eric rescued us by bringing the spare key.

Now that we have two kids, we still make plenty of mistakes, but we're just too tired to remember them all.  I sent Eli to school in a costume when it wasn't Halloween, and I completely forgot Ellie's Valentine's Day Party. We've dealt with our little exposer who was "airing it out" on the playground, and I may or may not have taught Ellie an ugly word last week in a moment of frustration.  The point is that it's crazy most of the time around here, and I even though we are a mess, I wouldn't change a thing.  I am so grateful for a man who loves us so well, who is with me in the parenting trenches, and who has taught me how to embrace the chaos through laughter!

Happy Father's Day, E-Ron!!

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

I've Never Been A Sports Person

"Little boys should never be sent to bed.  They always wake up a day older." - Peter Pan

I've never been a sports person.  I've never walked onto a field or a court.  I've never thrown a ball, swung a bat, or taken a shot.  I don't have a favorite sport or a favorite team, and I certainly can't tell you the name of any famous player outside of Babe Ruth or Michael Jordan.  I never know the rules and I understand very little about the game. But somehow, this little blue-eyed blonde changed all of that when he picked up his first bat, put on a tiny glove, and started swinging a little-bitty bat at everything in sight.  

He stole my heart, and I melt every time he walks onto the field or the court; every time I catch a glimpse of him shooting in the driveway or hitting rocks over the fence. Thanks to him, I have lots of favorite teams now - the Rays, the Mets, the Cardinals or whoever he's playing for.  I don't worry about knowing the stats on any athletes because my all-time favorite player is seven years old and goes by "Watson."  Oh, and this player is special- I can tell you how many points he scored or runs he batted in. I know his strengths and weakness and the face he makes before he swings the bat or takes the shot. I can pick him out from all the other players just by watching how he stands.  I still don't understand all the rules, but that doesn't stop me from making a fool of myself cheering for my favorite player...my number 13! 

I've never been a sports person, yet, one of the greatest joys of my life has become watching him grow into an incredible young man both on the field and off.  I've never been a sports person, but I will always be his biggest fan!!!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Birds And The Bees

I have debated about whether or not I should post this story, but in the end I decided that it’s too funny not to share.  Plus, I’ll want to remember this one day in future, and we are all adults who could use a good laugh.

Before we start, let’s just get everything out on the table.  I am of the mindset that honesty is the best policy when it comes to approaching the tough stuff with our kids.  For example, when our dog died last month, there was no beating around the bush or talk of “doggie heaven.”  Nope…the dog died.  Let’s cry our tears and move on with life.  The same goes for anatomy.  I’m getting to a point on my parenting journey where I’m just calling “it” what “it” is.  It won’t be so cute when the kids go to college with weird names for their “you know whats.”  I’m cracking myself up right now because I can talk about it all day long, but I can’t bring myself to type the words…oh, double standard!

Anyway, a couple of months ago, my innocent little second grader said something off the cuff about “s-e-x.”  I about choked but stayed in the kitchen to listen to the conversation between my men as Eric addressed Eli’s little comment.  After dinner and baths, I decided to get to the bottom of it at bedtime.  So after tucking Ellie in for the night, I made my way to Eli’s bedroom to approach the topic. I don’t want my kids to be weird when it comes to talking about this kind of thing but I don’t want to over share anything either, so I decided to bring it up causally to see how much he knew about the subject.  Turns out that other than knowing the word “s-e-x” he was pretty much clueless.

Thankful to have dodged a bullet, I decided to take the moment as an opportunity to instill a little parental guidance. At the time, it seemed like a brilliant idea, but in hindsight probably wasn’t the best course of action.  I told him that “s-e-x” is like ice-cream. Oh yes, I did!  Ice-cream is a good thing that should be enjoyed, but we should follow the rules and only enjoy it after dinner.  “S-e-x” is also a good thing, but like ice cream, should only be enjoyed at the appropriate time…after marriage.

Feeling pretty confident, I asked him if he had any more questions. And, of course, he did.  He wanted to know if  it was inappropriate to say that a girl was “s-e-x-y,” only he said the word.  Again, I saw a teachable moment and threw out some wisdom about showing women respect when talking about them because he wouldn’t want anyone to say that about his mom or his sister. 

Without missing a single beat he said, “Mom, I don’t think ANYONE would say that about you.”

Thank you, son.  I’m glad we had that little discussion, now excuse me while I go find what’s let of my self-esteem. 

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Marriage Isn't What I Thought It Would Be

Last night we attended a beautiful wedding for Eric’s cousin, and ya’ll know I just melt into a pile of gushy mush of sentiment at weddings.  Eric loves it when I get in this state. Ha!  That is a false statement…so, back to last night, I had all the feelings that I always have at a weddings, but in honor of my hubby who prefers humor over sappiness, I thought I would digress a bit about how marriage is nothing like I thought it would be.

The Dream: When I walked down the aisle, I envisioned our mornings would start with a sweet little peck on the cheek, because I was realistic and knew that we would have to contend with morning breath.  Then, we would chat over a nice breakfast that I whipped up while the hubby was showering.  We’d then embrace as he headed out the door to work.  I have no idea what I envisioned myself doing at this point, but the daydream stopped there.

The Reality: I wake up an hour before anyone in my house so that I can get ready in peace in quiet.  Then, I throw pop tarts at the kids while Eric fends for himself.  Don’t feel to bad for him though because he’s not a morning person and my enthusiasm for life at that hour of the day isn’t exactly his cup of tea.  If we agree to not converse at that hour, we can divert most crisis arguments. Ha!  He then leaves for work while I wrestle kids, battle the teeth brushing war, and threaten to take away all their toys if I have to tell them to get their backpacks one more time. 

 The Dream: As a newlywed, I also dreamed of romantic evening strolls in the park down from our home.  After a delicious homemade meal, we’d walk hand in hand talking about our day and our dreams for the future.  Then we would come home, shower and sit on the patio reading or playing card games until bedtime.

The Reality: We spend our nights at the park all right…the ball park.  Instead of talking about our days, we cast each other sideway glances from across the field as a warning not to let our competitiveness get out of hand at the little league game.  There are no homemade meals, and not because we’re too busy.  Basically, I’m a lousy cook and even Ellie knows it.  Back home we enter our second battle of the day…the bedtime wars!  Instead of that patio reading hour, we spend way too much time convincing two stinky, dirty, exhausted kids that they do indeed to bathe before bed.  Then we crash!

 The Dream: Weekly dates would be planned for expensive restaurants, thrilling shows, and a few quirky, but romantically planned adventures. 

The Reality: We eat pizza and put the kids to bed early so that we can watch a movie while the kids sleep.  Most of the time, we end up dozing off in two different seats and break the two-hour movie into two different viewings…half on Friday and half on Saturday. Otherwise, we sleep throw the entire thing.

While I’m on the topic of reality: Ladies, you can forget those skimpy little nighties you get at your personal showers.  The hottest thing I wear these days is an oversized t-shit that says “Hot Tamale” on it that we got for free on Burrito Monday at Moe’s.

But in all seriousness, marriage is so much more than those dreamy visions of utopia.  True romance is someone who knows you have morning breath but will kiss you anyway.  It’s your husband calling after he leaves the three ringer circus in the morning to make sure that you survived the chaos.  It’s someone who will divvy up the carpooling and the kids so that you can work a little late to catch up on the project.  It’s someone who can cast you a glance from across the baseball field, or the packed auditorium, or just the other side of the room because they know you so well, they can read your mind and predict your next move.   Romance is someone who doesn’t complain because you’re picking up drive-thu again, instead, they know exactly what you order off of every fast food menu in town.  It’s someone who will stay up way too late on a work night just so you can spend 20 minutes alone together after the kids are in bed and the chores are complete. 

Marriage isn’t anything like I thought it would be, and that’s not such a bad thing at all because someone has to be in the trenches with you when things get wonky.  I’m lucky my man has taught me a thing or two about laughing at the ridiculousness of our life.