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I have mentioned before that I am a recovering pageant girl. By recovering I mean, well, you just have to be a pageant girl or former pageant girl to get it. Anyhow, I reconnected with my old director today via Facebook. A lot has changed since the days of high heels and lipstick. Ok, maybe not so much, but it was good to hear from him.

It took me back to a time when my life revolved around the crown. A time when I lived to be Miss Kentucky, when every loss was the end of the world and every win was the triumph of a lifetime. To tell you about my pageant experience would take a book, and maybe I'll do that one day (it would be a best seller I think) but until then, please know pageants were my world.

(Please ignore the video and listen to the song)

Had I stuck it out one more year I would have performed the song Gold.

I wonder if when all is done
Anyone heard my voice
But from the start we have no choice
Our journeys just begin

I'll never know if I was right
Did I fight hard enough?
When the battles grew too rough
Should I have given in?

But here I stand and swear to you
I did the best that I could do...

I know my voice was just a whisper
But someone may have heard
There were nights the moon above me stirred,
And let me grab a hold
My hands have touched the gold

My hearts been driven by extremes
Blind with dreams, tight with fear
But still God knows that I was hear
And I was so alive

And now I lay the past to rest
For in the end I did my best

You have to live the life you're given
And never close your eyes
You hold on, and stare into the sky,
And burn against the cold
For any moment, you might find the gold!

And there was joy
Through it all
And I am standing tall

I know my voice was just a whisper
But someone must have heard
There were nights the moon above me stirred,
And let my light take hold
I'd rode across that sky
And once I touched the gold

Here in my own two hands
I once had the gold

I always thought that becoming Miss Kentucky would be my Gold, but was simply part of the journey. It is a stepping stone to help build my career and groom me for the future! I can talk to anyone about anything thanks to interview. I have nerves of steel thanks to talent, I live a healthy lifestyle thanks to swimsuit, and I can deal with idiots thanks to, well...(you fill in the blank)

The other day I heard the song Gold for the first time since I quite competing and I realized that I have touched the Gold, many times. The day I married my best friend and life partner, the day our son was born, the day I fulfilled my dream of becoming a talk show host.

I watch so many girls I love and care for continue to chase the Gold of the pageant world, and I just want to tell them to slow down. Enjoy the journey, enjoy being thin, enjoy what you are learning, but never think that once it ends you have fallen short...because when you least expect it, you will touch the Gold.


  1. I danced to GOld one year at Miss KY. I love that song and I know exactly what you mean by "recovering" :)

  2. I forgot about you dancing to that. I always loved your talent! I'm happy that we are both functioning members of society now...although I'm still concerned for a few of our acquaintances..Haha!


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