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We Survived

Eli turns one year old today and there are so many emotions I'm afraid that I'll fail to articulate them.

This has been the most life changing year possible, and not just because of our little addition; we have experienced some life altering moments in more ways than one. With a new baby in tow, Eric and I packed up and moved into a new house in October, my parents lost their home in February, and I started a new job in March.

Add six ear infections, daycare, and teething to the mix, and you have a year of shear chaos. These events have caused countless nights of sleep deprivation, marital change, financial adjustments, and emotional moments.

I never thought it possible to be so exhausted physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I have found joy in my new role, but have also had my share of frustration, impatience, moodiness, and overall lack of adjustment.

I could have handled this past year much better in many circumstance, but felt overwhelmed more times than not...not always with my new role, but with all of it combined.

I have learned that I am selfish and selfless, strong and weak, kind and not so kind. I have learned that no matter what life throws my way, I have a wonderful support in my life partner, best friend and husband.

I have learned that being a mommy isn't all about sweet lullabies, cute clothes, and play dates. Somewhere in the mix there is sleep deprivation, major blowouts, and many tempertantums.

I have learned that I have more strength than I ever realized and that I need God in my life to give me wisdom in parenting, patience in dealing, and guidance for daily dealings.

I have learned that it's ok to cry right along with baby, that no matter how much weight you lose it never goes back to the same place, and that it's not the end of the world to go to work with spit-up on your clothes.

When Eli was first born I told a couple of my friends that motherhood is about survival. It's about surviving the sleepless nights, the mounts of laundry, the first fever, and countless blowouts.

What I didn't know was motherhood is also about surviving the tears at every milestone because you know what with each one your baby needs you less and less. It's about surviving the first family vacation, the first day of daycare, the first overnight trip without them. It is about surviving each passing month when you realize that time is cruel and flies too quickly.

The first year is about surviving the first birthday when you realize that you can't remember what life was like before him and can't imagine it without him...and We Survived!


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