Monday, April 11, 2011

Finding Joy

I hate to leave the day on an ugly note. So, hard as it may be I'm trying to count my blessings today in the midst of utter exhaustion and border line depression; I am choosing to praise the God who's hands hold the universe. Here are a few "blessings" from Eli not sleeping:

1. FINDING OUT WE ARE A TEAM- you are not here, so you can not possibly understand what it's like living with a child who won't sleep. The only person who "semi-gets-it" is Eric. He is strong when I am weak and visa versa. We would not have made it through the past twenty months if it wasn't for the strength we've found in each other. I often tell Eric that one day we'll look back on this season of our lives and say," WE DID IT." No parents here to help, two careers to balance, and a thousand things to juggle and we'll make it. Somehow, someway...TOGETHER!!

2. LEARNING TO TRUST GOD- we are made perfect in our weakness. I don't know about you, but I am never closer to God than when I am on my knees. In this season, I am learning to lean on Him in new ways and to trust Him to sustain me.

3. BUILDING MY TESTIMONY- one day I'll sit down with an exhausted, young momma fighting her hyper toddler, and without words I'll know exactly what to do. I'll be able to encourage her in a way that no one else can. I'll know her heart, her insecurities and fears. I'll be able to not only watch her little one so she can sleep, I'll refresh her soul and be a constant support.

4. THANKING GOD FOR DAYCARE- I always swore that I would never be the mom who sent her child to daycare...never! Now, I'm not only forever grateful to Eli's caregivers for nurturing him when I'm not there, I am thankful for their services so that on days like this I can go home to rest.

5. UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE- I knew that once I became a mother I would love without limits in ways I could never have understood before. Despite the exhaustion, frustration and endless agony of sleep deprivation NOTHING could ever stop me from loving this sweet face.

I know it's not much, but on days like this joy is a CHOICE. As hard as it may be I am choosing to find happiness in this season of restlessness...even if I have to throw a hissy fit first! ha!


  1. Morgan, I love your resilient spirit. I know how tough it must be to have nights back to back to back, but you WILL get through this! Hope you, Eric and Eli can get some rest soon!

  2. Woman you are tenacious and I love it, but I worry a bit for you. I am also grateful you have the daycare. It obviously gives you a much needed rest...even if only for awhile. Can I ask Eli tired? Does he LOOK know..puffy eyes..and is he overly cranky..not just being a toddler? Does he take naps? I was just curious. What does Eli do when he wakes up...and what do you do in response? Just kind of wondering...sometimes us older gals can give you a tip or two..might work, might not (between your Mom and me, we've been there!) You take care of yourself...Eli should know..Mommy has needs too. Love you gal. Jean

  3. Sarah, thanks for the encouragement. Hope the move went well!

    Jean, we have since birth given Eli a bath and moved to bed. Originally I did not rock him but have since begun, although not to sleep. We pray sing and lie down. It works well.

    As far as middle of the night awakening go we have done several things per our research and doctor(s) suggestions. We have let him cry it out for up to two hours, but have found that after 10 minutes it's a lost cause.

    We have gone in soothed, a lied him back in bed to cry for 15 minutes and then repeated.

    We have stayed up rocking, used sound machines, night lights, elminated certain foods and even put him in the pack n play in our room. The only thing we won't do is co-sleep. Although at this point I'm considering it. Ha!

    Thanks for the concern.