Monday, June 6, 2011

Today's The Day

I have decided that today's the day. "The day for what," you may ask. The day to begin my new weight loss journey...again!

I am so tired of buying clothes and then feeling fat. I am constantly comparing myself to other women wondering if I'm their size and if I look as good as they do. It's a daily battle. Worse than the weight is feeling out of control. I hate not having the discipline to make wiser choices. I hate feeling insecure, not because of the way I look, but because of what I choose NOT to do.

"Discipline is exchanging what you don't want for what you CAN have."

I have made so many excuses. "I'm too tired." "I work full time." " I have invested so much in these clothes I don't want to lose my money." The list is endless.

Before you tell me not to be too hard on myself, hear me out. I am undeniable at an unhealthy weight. I do exercise regularly, but I eat large portions of fatty foods. I miss being healthy. This weight loss journey obviously has some vanity associated with it. I mean, who doesn't want to be skinny? But there is so much more. For me, this journey also is rooted in a desire to become more healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Physically- I don't need to tell you. We all know why we must live a healthy lifestyle.

Mentally- as you know if you've read this blog for any length of time, I have battled depression. Exercising of course naturally fights depression by releasing endorphins. Healthy eating also goes a long way in fighting the condition.

Emotionally- there are so few things in this life that we can control, but diet and exercise are two. Although we can control them, we can't control the impacts they have on our body...which is crazy. In any case, I have a motto I learned when I worked for Chick-fil-a and it has become my goal, "to become good stewards of all the Lord has entrusted to us." My body is no exception. To know that I am choosing to control these two areas demonstrates discipline. Emotionally, seeing such progression is healing.

Spiritually- I may pray from time to time on the treadmill or memorize scripture while cycling, For me, the weight loss journey is less about that and more about learning dependence. We walk through this world trusting God in times of need and relying on His strength in the pits of despair, but when it comes to things like weight loss we want to be in control. We are told "YOU can do it." "YOU can do anything you set you mind to." Ya'll, I am here to tell you that I can do NOTHING without Christ. I need Him to help me to become self controlled. I need his wisdom, conviction and love. I need him and want to depend on him, not myself.

This weight loss journey is not just about trying to lose 35 lbs. It's about making decisions that will have a positive impact on my entire life. It's about becoming more healthy so I can better care for Eli. It's about feeling better about myself. And it's about overcoming my fear of failure by trusting God even in the most mundane situations.

I want to take you on this journey with me for many reasons. I need accountability and support. I need encouragement, but I also hope you see the transformation of my spirit more than my body. The truth is, I'm a nervous wreck about being this open and honest on the internet, but we're all vulnerable. So, here we go!

Each Saturday I will post a weekly update that looks like this:

Starting Weight:
Current Weight:
Pounds Lost This Week:
Total Pounds Lost:
Best Moment:
Worst Moment:
Cravings:
What I Miss:
Weekly Scripture:

Daily Overview:

Because of the program I have chosen, this will be a 12 week process that will by the grace of God last a lifetime. Again, I do want to lose weight. But more than anything, I want to become disciplined in self control and make decisions that will impact my life for years to come. Please hold me in your prayers as you follow this journey!

1 comment:

  1. You go girl! And in not too long I will be right there with you!

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