Thursday, December 8, 2011

You've Been On My Heart

Yes you!! You see, this week I've been struggling with some self image issues . I know that sounds weird coming from a former beauty queen who gets on television every morning, but it's true.

I weigh more ( a LOT more) than I did in my pageant days, which should be no surprise to anyone considering I used to spend 1 hour and a half at the gym six days a week. Life changes and so do our bodies, yet I have a hard time accepting that.

Maybe it's because we are bombarded with images of perfection on a daily basis. Every time I turn on the TV, pick up a magazine, or log on to Facebook there is some SKINNY, beautiful woman with perfect skin, long gorgeous hair, and designer clothes starring back at me. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here in sweats that barley fit, hair that somehow manages to be both frizzy and greasy at the same time, and with smudged make-up that no longer hides the bags under my eyes.

So what do I do with this sudden dose in humility? I vow to be skinny, go on a crash diet, hit the gym every day for about two weeks and then throw in the towel... at which point I binge on pizza, chips, and whatever else is within a ten mile radius.

I'm living in one extreme or the other. I am captive.

I am a prisoner to food when I don't enjoy the blessing it is from God.

I am also a prisoner when I lack self control when present with food.

I am a prisoner, and that my friends is a sin. Overeating is a sin. Under-eating is a sin. Worrying about eating is a sin. They are sins not simply because of the actions, but because of the bondage they put us in. God calls us to freedom:

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Galatians 6:1

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." - 2 Corinthians 3:17

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

While freedom is wonderful, but it mustn't be abused.

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." - Galatians 5:13

"Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak." - Corinthians 8:9

My prayer is to find freedom and to balance the responsibility it brings. No longer do I want to worry about eating too much or eating too little. I want to be free from the guilt, from the shame, from the control. I want to chose healthy foods and live a healthy lifestyle not for vanity's sake but for my spiritual temple.

I want to be convicted of my glutinous nature rather than feeling fat. I want to praise the Creator of amazing foods rather than feeling guilty for enjoying them. I want to run to take care of God's temple rather than to look nice in jeans.

So whether you are a gym rat, a couch potato or a little but of both, I want you to remember that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

I want there to be a generation of women who are bold in their faith, diligent in caring for their temples, and FREE in knowing that beauty is only skin deep. We are made in His image...Hallelujah!!

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