Thursday, October 4, 2012

Four Years Later

Today is our four year anniversary, and as I look back on our wedding, I realize that in some ways it's all a blur; details lost in the pure excitement and raw joy of joining my life with Eric's in holy matrimony.  In other ways, I  remember every detail.  I remember waking up long before the sun rose.  I remember my shower that day.  I remember what I ate, and how many packets of Splenda where in my coffee.  I remember how heavy the bouquet felt in my hands while taking pictures.

I remember the butterflies in my stomach when I saw my groom for the first time. I remember the tender moments we shared alone before the wedding started.  I remember praying with my bridesmaids in the parlor and standing in the balcony listening to my brother sing.

I remember how my arm felt in my Daddy's hand as he gave me away.  I remember the ceremony and that feeling of relief when we were finally declared husband and wife.  I remember the walk back the parlor, just he and I.

I remember the bubbles being blown and the car ride back to the reception.  I remember eating, mingling, dancing, and finally leaving for our honeymoon.  I remember what snacks we stopped for on the way, and the outfit I wore in the car.

I remember every detail about that day.  And although it was the happiest I have ever known, I would be a fool to forget the vows we took, because when all is said and done, a wedding is nothing more than an expensive celebration.  It's what happens during the ceremony that gets you through the rough patches in life.

So four years ago, I stood before the Lord and a church full of family and friends and I signed up for FOREVER.  I signed up for the good and bad, sickness and health, richer or poorer.  I signed up to love someone through situations my young mind couldn't even fathom at the time.

I used to wonder how people could say they love their spouse more than they did on their wedding day.  But now I get it. I think it's because as you walk through life together you realize that love, it's a feeling.  However, through every circumstance and every trial you cultivate a new trust and respect for your spouse.  It's from that trust and respect that true love grows, because you realize that no other person on this earth ever has or ever will know you so intimatlly.  And if that person can love you past the flaws and murk, if they can stand by you through the darkest night, if they can choose to love you at your most unlovable moments, that's commitment,.

So when you strip away the fancy dress, the perfect flowers, and the elaborate reception you're left with two broken sinners committing to something bigger than they can possibly imagine and standing humbly before a perfect and mighty God who promises to be everything they need.  That is what a wedding boils down to because after the best day of your life, there will at some point come the worst day of your life, and the person standing beside you through that day will be your spouse.

I can honestly say that I love Eric more today than I did on the happiest day of my life.  I fall more in love with him as I watch him raise and love our son.  I fall in love with him every time he leads a prayer, listens to my fears, or puts me in my place.

 I love him more today than yesterday because we have a past, and with Christ as our foundation we have a future.

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