Insecurity

  

Ya'll, today is the day I'm hitting the gym again and I couldn't be more excited.  It has been a long time since I've had a good run and even longer since I've lifted weights.  Lets face it, after nine months of pregnancy and (almost) two months of recovery, it's been awhile. I can not tell you how ready I am to step up on that treadmill again!!

That being said, I'm not really sure to do once I get started.  Don't worry, I'm not talking about the actual jog...that part I do know.  What I mean is - I don't have an end goal in mind.  Yesterday I sat down to work on my weight loss plan, and I came up with nothing!

 On the one hand I would love to have the mentality that this is the beginning of Operation Skinny.  I mean, it makes sense.  I'm done having babies, so why not start today? On the other hand, I would love to say "to heck with it all, I like my pudgy self."  Ha! Neither approach seemed to fit.

 I started praying for the right mentality to this whole gym thing,  and here is what I've decided.  I have no outcome in mind!!  Don't get me wrong, I would love to lose weight and look like Barbie but that's just not a realistic goal for this season of my life (or any season for that matter.)  I would be putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself and right now, pressure is the last thing I need.  Yes, I'm done having babies but I'm not done raising babies.  Let's face it, there are going to be days that getting out of bed takes an act of Congress.  There are going to be sick kids, play dates, piles of dirty laundry and a billion other things that come up - all of which are more important than a jog. 

 I believe with all my heart that mommies should take care of themselves, but you know what?  Sometimes that means the gym and sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes a lunch with friends is more important than the treadmill.  Sometimes a mani/pedi does more for us than lifting weights, and sometimes a good long nap is just what the doctor ordered.

Where am I going with this?  I'm glad you asked.  I'm going wherever this road takes me.  My goal is to make it to the gym five days a week, but we all know that isn't likely.  So, instead of beating myself up, I'm gonna roll with it.  I'll still try to make healthy eating choices and to find something active to do whether it's a walk on the treadmill, a short workout video or playing outside with Eli...something!

After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.  I can take my sweet time getting to where I'm going.  You know, there is so much pressure on us to have homes like Martha Stewart, bodies like Julian Micheals, and resumes like Condalisa Rice.  I'm so over it.  As the quote above says, don't compare your "behind-the-senes" with everyone else's  highlight reel."