Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Big Girl Panties

Don't worry.  We aren't potty training Ellie just yet.  We're hoping to master the whole sleep thing first.  Sigh.  Oh well, at least she's better than Eli was.  I'm convinced that if we had a third (and we absolutely will not have a third) but if we did, it would be an awesome sleeper.

Anyway, back to the point of this post.  Life lately has been crazy.  I know, I know, I say that all the time, but it's true.  Life is just exhausting and not because my kids are under-achievers in the sleep department.  It's exhausting because for the past year I have been stuck in a rat race.  When I look at my Facebook newsfeed, or scroll through Instagram, or check out Twitter, I am reminded that I am just not up to par. 

My house is too messy, my closets are too unorganized, and my kids will probably develop a yet to be invented complex due to their overexposure to processed meats such as chicken nuggets and hot dogs.  Not to mention I can't sew, I hate to cook, and I have no clue how to make homemade or "green" anything.  

Most of the time I can handle this, but sometimes (usually close to my monthly visitor) it sends me into a tailspin.  Poor Eric just sits back and watches as I Clorox every surface of the house and curse my inability to find enough hangers for all the clean clothes.  Then there's my obsession over my failure to incorporate some 12 step program to get my kids to sleep. I'm a mess when this happens, and I am so over it!!  

I'm putting on my Big Girl Panties saying that I've had enough.  ENOUGH!!!  I will likely never overcome my obsession with a clean house.  I just won't.  I'll probably continue to vacuum three times a week until my kids the leave nest, but other than that, I'm embracing the chaos.

I'm embracing the fact that my personal areas such as under my side of the sink, my closet, and my professional work space, will continue to stay organized.  However, there is no hope for the coat closet, medicine cabinet, or pantry.  

I'm embracing the fact that I will never be a good cook.  I hate cooking, and I hate cleaning up the kitchen even more than that.  A frozen pizza or crock pot dinner are much more appealing after being up all night and working all day. 

I'm embracing the fact  that I'm just not domestic.  I can leave the sewing to professionals, and I'm totally fine with the harsh chemicals in my laundry detergent.  Sorry, but I am.

I'm embracing the fact that LIFE IS NOT PERFECT. There will be bad days.  The car will break down the same week you pay an unexpected medical bill.  Your kids will act like angels all day and suddenly morph into little terrorist that would scare Osma Bin Laden's offspring the minute you walking into a crowded store.

You will get called in to work early or be asked to stay late no matter what your profession, and that, staying over, will make you lash out on your kids and husband.  You will have bad days, bad months, and even bad years.  

LIFE IS NOT PERFECT!!  You will be offended by well meaning family members, friends, and coworkers when they offer parenting advice.  So put on your big girl panties and deal with. 

Life is too short to worry about those things.  One day my house will be organized and well decorate again.  One day my kids will sleep.  One day I may even have enough money to take a cooking class.   In the meantime, my goal this year is to put on my Big Girl Panties and deal with it.  Whatever "it" might be. 

Life is messy but it's a beautiful ride.  I hope throughout 2014 you'll find encouragement though this blog.  I want it to be real.  I want you laugh and cry and identify with ups and downs of motherhood.  I want you to enjoy the show and find true entertainment in behind the scenes moments.  I want to you to connect and relate to this journey because if we're too focused on making life perfect, we'll miss the beauty of the jounrey! 

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