My Sweet Ellie Girl,
In true second child fashion, this letter to you is a day late. I could blame in on the snow storm, the busy weekend we had, or the general chaos that comes with raising two little people, but I won't. I won't blame it on any of those things because it is your fault that I'm slow these days. Oh baby girl, please don't take that in a negative way. It's a good thing because you've taught me so much; you've taught me how to let go, how to slow the pace, how to release the idea of perfection, and how embrace the beauty in mundane, every day moments.
Before you, I hurried through life. Even your brother couldn't slow my pace. Naturally, having a second child slowed me a bit. It's much harder to keep up with the daily grind of life with a preschooler and infant tagging along, but that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking slowing down an taking it all in. Maybe it's because you're my last baby or maybe it's because I was confident enough to know that you'll eventually learn all of those skills like talking, walking, and sleeping. Whatever the case, I have enjoyed the slower moments.
The dishes stay dirtier longer, but feeding times are treasured as I sing you sweet lullabies and watch you drift to sleep. The laundry piles are higher, but the play times are longer. Bath times are messier, but we're making memories splashing a round. The vacuum cleaner stays in the closet more, but the rocking chair sees a lot more snuggles.
Ellie Girl, you're teaching me to treasure the moments at hand. I'll never bring another baby home from the hospital. I'll never cheer again for the small things like rolling over, sitting up, crawling, or walking. I'll never get a first Easter, a first Christmas, or a first birthday again. Even though that reality hurts a momma's heart, it's a blessed realization that I must treasure these fleeting moments. Time is moving fast and you'll grow into a young lady whether or not I slow down to enjoy it.
I always dreamed of having a daughter. I prayed for frilly tutus, Texas size bows, and pink everything. You've exceeded my expectations. You humor me, for now, by wearing the clothes I pick out and sporting those bows, but you also love playing Monster Trucks, Hot Wheels, and Super Heroes and I'm okay with that.
I'm okay with that because once again you are teaching me. You're teaching me to let go and be the unique person God created me to be. As you go throughout life you will learn that there are always people eager to change you, eager to morph you into their idea of beauty. Please remember, sweet girl, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. The God who made the universe knitted you together. He placed you on this earth for a purpose, and I can not wait to see that unfold. I'm here to help you on that course, to give you roots and help you find your wings.
Take your time, sweet baby, because I am enjoying this journey. Happy First Birthday.