Thursday, November 6, 2014

To Be His Mom

Since the beginning, Eli had defied reason.   His very existence it a contradiction to the world of science and modern medicine.  He is, by the grace of God, a miracle – a blue-eyed, blond haired, energetic, precious miracle. 

Since “Day One,” he has had me on my toes.  I never thought I would be a mom, and yet motherhood caught me off guard.  I wasn’t sure that I would know what to do with a little boy, yet I delivered a six pound, bouncing, little man.  Then there was the three and a half years of pure torture as method after method failed to bring us a full night’s rest.  Oh, and I must not forget the constant ear infections that had doctors stumped for a good six months or the end result when a thirteen month old had to have adult-sized tubes put into ear canal.

Yes, since day one, this little blue-eyed, blond, modern day miracle has had me on my toes.  Maybe it was the time he took off his diaper and pooped in the floor, or the time he broke a Christmas ornament in the store, or the time he fell off of the porch onto the concrete patio and had to be rushed to the hospital, or maybe it was when he jumped out of the tree-house at the library and busted his nose, or the time he jumped into the pool without swimmies, or perhaps it was when he shattered the tv into a million pieces after hitting a golf ball into it – I can’t quite put my finger on “the exact moment,” but at some point I knew Eli would forever keep me on my toes.  I knew that this is what it would mean to be his mom.

To be his mom means punishing him and them running to my room to let out the giggles after he pulls a dresser over on top of himself while trying to climb it.  

To be his mom means taking away his Superman cape after he attempts to jump from the coffee table to the couch.  

To be his mom means to wrestle, and tickle, and play countless games of football in the front yard.

To be his mom means indulging him with endless hours of baseball in the “sandlot” out back. 

To be his mom means to dread hearing the words, “hey, watch this,” because something starting with those words can never end well.

To be his mom means to stress and fuss and yell when I’m at my wits end.  

To be his mom means to lose my temper when I correct the same mistake for the hundredth time.  

To be his mom means going to war over bath time and bedtime every.single. night.  

To be his mom means to beam with pride one minute and to want to crawl under a rock and hide the next.

To be his mom means to fall on my knees before Christ at every turn in the road. 

To be his mom means to pray for wisdom and strength and patience.  

To be his mom means to worry and cry, and finally plea with my Father in Heaven.  

To be his mom means to totally surrender myself to Christ.

To be his mom means to accept that what I see as his greatest, unbreakable weakness, may in fact, be his most incredible strength and ultimately used for the glory of God.  

To be his mom means seeking wisdom in knowing the difference.

I once read a story about a mother who asked God to fix her strong-willed child – to make her obedient and “good.”  But God didn’t do that.  Instead, he gave the mother wisdom for the moment and strength to stay the course day after day - after long day.  Eighteen years later, that strong-willed child once again went against the norm by choosing to graduate high school a semester early so that she could become a missionary. She didn’t fit the mold of a "good girl."  She challenged the rules.  She pushed her momma’s buttons, but she glorified Christ.  What her mother thought was her greatest weakness, God intended to be her greatest strength.

The Lord promises that his strength is made perfect in our weakness.  My prayer is that as a mother, I remember that truth on the toughest days when tvs break and dressers fall over, and the school report is nothing short of a tragedy, because Christ promised to fill me with the perfect grace, strength and wisdom needed to stay the course. 

To be mom means to “trust in the Lord with all of my heart.”

To be his mom means to “lean not on my own understandings.”  

To be his mom means to praise the Creator of Heaven and Earth that he chose to take me on the greatest adventure of my life - that he chose me to be his mom.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

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