Today I am feeling particularly sentimental. It’s possible that all this sensitivity stems from having just celebrate Mother’s Day, but I have a hunch that it has more to do with all of the awards ceremonies I’ve attending.
All week I have witnessed parents proudly entering high school auditoriums and gymnasiums with bright smiles masking what I believe has to be an intensity of mixed emotions – exuberant pride that their child has reached the milestone of walking the graduation stage, mixed with the sinking feeling that they arrived to this place all too soon.
I wonder what emotions I will experience when my time comes. Will I beam with pride that we have accomplished these 18 years, or will I grieve that this season was fleeting? Will I celebrate their successes or will I mourn their leaving? Will I look to the next chapter with anticipation or will I grieve turning the page? Will I rest in the peace of knowing that I have given them both roots and wings?
I cannot possibly know the answers to those questions, although I suspect that I will experience a messy combination of all of the above. And while I can’t answer for sure, I can be conscience about cherishing these moments before me today. Because all too soon, that scraped-up kneed, overly active, needy kindergarten will turn into a young man walking across the graduation stage. And that curly-haired, paci-loving, sassy little toddler will transform into a gracious lady ready to spread her wings and fly.
So until that blessed, cursed, happy, sad, wonderful, beautiful day arrives, I will do exactly what I did today… I will cherish this season.
With all this built up sentiment, I did what any mother would do. I stopped by Eli’s school for a surprise lunch date. It was the best even if this boy wouldn't give me a real smile!