Monday, June 15, 2015

An Ode To Blogging

Hey, ya'll. It's been a hot minute since I've sat down to document our lives, and I'm kicking myself in the rear for not being better at keeping up with this little journal of mine.  We just got back from the most magical vacation, and as I prepared to recap our time it dawned on me just how much I miss writing.

Blogging makes me a better me.

 Really, it does.

Blogging holds me accountable for my time with my kids by challenging me to be more intentional with them.  I want to have content to write about, so blogging helps me come up with fun activities to do as a family.  I can't help but noticed how much less time I spend making their days special when I don't take time to plan and document it. That's not to say that I expect every day to be a fairytale, but there is more to life than chores and routine.

Blogging keeps me real.  Even though I  am more intentional about my time with the kids so that I can keep up this little memory book of mine, I am also challenged to me more open, honest and real.  I never want to be one of those people who seems to have it all together, because I don't. In fact, I run around like a chicken with my head cut off most days.  While that may drive my hubby bananas, being honest about it reminds me that it's ok.  It's okay to love these babies but want to run away and hide.  It's okay to enjoy this season but to also find it the most challenging thing I've ever done.  It's ok to skip baths for an early bedtime and serve chicken nuggets for dinner four nights a week.  It's not perfect.  It's not even ideal, but it's okay.    I forget that when I stop writing.  I start believing that I need to be more, and do more, and try more.  Writing keeps me honest and reminds me to love these babies, try my best, and let the rest of it go.

Blogging helps keep things in perspective.  Along with the above rant, writing reminds me that all too soon this season will pass.  Sometimes that realization comes when I am read over older posts and see how burdened or challenged I was about something that is now so small.  Sometimes that realization comes as I write and think about Eli and Ellie when they read this one day.  Will they find comfort and wisdom?  Time heals everything, and in doing so, it lightens the scar.  Like childbirth, we forget the pain.  One day I may tell my kids how wonderful they were at 2 and 5.  I may even say something cliche' like "you'll miss this one day."  But tucked deep in the pages of this blog will be an eternal reminder that at one point I was overwhelmed, and exhausted, and frustrated and completely clueless.  I think they will find more comfort in the musings of my past honesty than in the encouragement of my future words.

So, I want to take time to blog more because blogging makes me a better mommy.  It makes me a better me.

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