Last night we attended a beautiful wedding for Eric’s
cousin, and ya’ll know I just melt into a pile of gushy mush of sentiment at
weddings. Eric loves it when I get in
this state. Ha! That is a false
statement…so, back to last night, I had all the feelings that I always have at
a weddings, but in honor of my hubby who prefers humor over sappiness, I
thought I would digress a bit about how marriage is nothing like I thought it
would be.
The Dream:
When I walked down the aisle, I envisioned our mornings would start with a
sweet little peck on the cheek, because I was realistic and knew that we would
have to contend with morning breath.
Then, we would chat over a nice breakfast that I whipped up while the
hubby was showering. We’d then embrace
as he headed out the door to work. I
have no idea what I envisioned myself doing at this point, but the daydream
stopped there.
The Reality:
I wake up an hour before anyone in my house so that I can get ready in peace in
quiet. Then, I throw pop tarts at the
kids while Eric fends for himself. Don’t
feel to bad for him though because he’s not a morning person and my enthusiasm
for life at that hour of the day isn’t exactly his cup of tea. If we agree to not converse at that hour, we
can divert most crisis arguments. Ha! He
then leaves for work while I wrestle kids, battle the teeth brushing war, and
threaten to take away all their toys if I have to tell them to get their
backpacks one more time.
The Reality:
We spend our nights at the park all right…the ball park. Instead of talking about our days, we cast
each other sideway glances from across the field as a warning not to let our
competitiveness get out of hand at the little league game. There are no homemade meals, and not because
we’re too busy. Basically, I’m a lousy
cook and even Ellie knows it. Back home
we enter our second battle of the day…the bedtime wars! Instead of that patio reading hour, we spend
way too much time convincing two stinky, dirty, exhausted kids that they do
indeed to bathe before bed. Then we
crash!
The Reality: We
eat pizza and put the kids to bed early so that we can watch a movie while the
kids sleep. Most of the time, we end up
dozing off in two different seats and break the two-hour movie into two
different viewings…half on Friday and half on Saturday. Otherwise, we sleep
throw the entire thing.
While I’m on the topic of reality: Ladies, you can forget
those skimpy little nighties you get at your personal showers. The hottest thing I wear these days is an
oversized t-shit that says “Hot Tamale” on it that we got for free on Burrito
Monday at Moe’s.
But in all seriousness, marriage is so much more than those
dreamy visions of utopia. True romance
is someone who knows you have morning breath but will kiss you anyway. It’s your husband calling after he leaves the
three ringer circus in the morning to make sure that you survived the
chaos. It’s someone who will divvy up
the carpooling and the kids so that you can work a little late to catch up on
the project. It’s someone who can cast
you a glance from across the baseball field, or the packed auditorium, or just
the other side of the room because they know you so well, they can read your
mind and predict your next move.
Romance is someone who doesn’t complain because you’re picking up
drive-thu again, instead, they know exactly what you order off of every fast
food menu in town. It’s someone who will
stay up way too late on a work night just so you can spend 20 minutes alone
together after the kids are in bed and the chores are complete.
Marriage isn’t anything like I thought it would be, and
that’s not such a bad thing at all because someone has to be in the trenches
with you when things get wonky. I’m
lucky my man has taught me a thing or two about laughing at the ridiculousness of
our life.
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